The Village

So I went to see “The Village” last night.

Spoilers follow…you have been warned.


And I’m torn. I wanted to like the movie, but when you bill something as a scary movie and it’s not the least bit scary, then I get annoyed. I thought William Hurt was really good, as was Bryce Dallas Howard (daughter of Opie if you didn’t know), but overall I thought it was pretty weak. The dialogue seemed forced and it just didn’t have much to it, in my opinion.

I had two thoughts early on in the movie, 1) they made the monsters up so people wouldn’t leave the compound and, 2) they lived in modern times, not the 1800s. Turns out I was 100% correct. Guess that makes me the next M. Night Shyamalamadingdong.

Last night also reminded me of why I hate going to the theater. The movie is almost empty and Mr. and Mrs. Shit Forbrains has to sit right in front of us. Not one or two seats to either side, but right in front. That, my friends, pisses me off to no end. Stupid, ignorant F*CK heads like that just irritate me. Then, to top it off, they start making out when the movie starts. Now don’t get me wrong, Dear Reader, I like porn just like everybody else, but not when the woman’s beard is thicker than mine. That’s just gross.

My advice? Wait for the DVD.

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3 comments on “The Village

  1. Matt says:

    Sorry to hear you were disappointed by the flick. And honestly, if you’re going to make out in a theater, pick the last row not the middle. I hate it when people do that.

  2. tawnytoy says:

    I think the only thing I ever really liked was “The Sixth Sense”. I hated “Signs” and “Unbreakable”. Oh, my nieces loved “Stuart Little” though…

    Do yourself a favor… two words… Home Theater.

    I have never gone back and I LOVE IT!

  3. Alex says:

    My brother (in-law) went to see it last night. He said that I should never ever see it. I can’t figure out if he knows I don’t like scary movies, or because he knows I don’t like stupid movies. And…they must have really bothered you – I thought I was the only pottymouth around here! 😉

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