The Sounds of Email

Like most of you, I get too much email each day and most of it is worthless drivel. In my case, that drivel is compounded by the fact the we have an automated system to warn us of impending “doom”. The system emails us with failry meaningless items like “C: drive is now normal”, “critical threshold reached”, and my all-time favorite, “an error has occured. Please investigate”. All of this email drives me insane. I used to spend most of my days deleting the BS email and pitchin’ a bitch about it. Then I got smart.

Outlook allows you to setup rules to handle different types of email. My rules place Spam in one place, good email somewhere else, and non-spam BS to a third. The only downside to all of this is that Outlook’s email notification icon (the little envelope) appears in my system tray for EVERY email I get, no matter the type. I still ended up pitchin’ a bitch because I had to open Outlook to see what kind of email it was. Then I got smarter.

Outlook also allows you to set the type of notification sound it plays for each rule. So I devised the following system:

Good email message: Mr Dean Implodes

Automated System notification message: Homer

Non-spam BS containing specific words: Bart and Lisa

Sure, it screams “GEEK”. But only when I say so.


Is it hard being beautiful?

Does a woman ever get tired of being beautiful?

I thought about this today as I was helping one of the women in my office. To me, she is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. She’s tall, with dark hair, a beautiful face, and a great body. As I was following her back to her office this morning, I happened to notice how some of the guys were looking at her. They were in town for training and had apparently not seen her before. Several of them gave her the full-body once over, and I’ll admit, it even made me uncomfortable. That’s when I started to wonder if being beautiful could get tiring?

I appreciate a beautiful woman as much as another man, but I try to be discreet about it. Part of it is because I get very shy around them and part of it is because it just feels rude to give them the once over. Now don’t misunderstand, if the woman is wearing something designed to draw attention to them (like Britany or Paris or Pam Anderson), then I’m all eyes. In this case, I’m talking about someone “normal” that I see around town. I’m talking about a woman who looks as good in a baseball cap as she does in a dress. I’m talking about naturally beautiful women, not the surgically enhanced kind.

I wonder if any of these women think, “Would you just stop looking at me”. I’d have to imagine it would get irritating after a while or am I just being naïve? Never having been in that situation, I can’t accurately answer the question. I’m more like the gristle you cut off before getting to the good stuff. What do you think?