The Vegetation Vandal

This just in…


—–Original Message—–
From: (deleted)
Sent: Monday, September 27, 2004 9:59 AM
To: Facilities Manager
Cc: Department Manager
Subject: Vandalism

Facilities Manager, someone is destroying plants in (name deleted)’s office. It started several weeks ago with a plant of his – a beautiful philodendron. First, the runners were snipped. After they fell off, the individual leaves started being cut a few at a time each day until only 1 leaf remained on the whole plant. He took it home. He got a second philodendron and the same thing is happening – a couple of leaves are cut just about every day. You can tell the fresh cuts from the older ones, even if you don’t remember specifically which leaves are there one day and gone the next. This is ridiculous and I’m not sure what can be done about it, but something needs to be. Any ideas?

Hide your plants, kiddies, it seems the Vegetation Vandal is back. And he’s pissed!

And, for the record, I had nothing to do with this. However, we did take full advantage of the situation by sending him a ransom note in a nice ransom-note font. It said, “If you involve the authorities again, the plants gets it. Sincerely, The Vegetation Vandal.”

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5 comments on “The Vegetation Vandal

  1. tawny says:

    Wow. That is totally funny – but someone sure has a lot of time to kill to be snipping away at the plants. We have lunch theft and car keying just your usual vandalism. Oh, and when we term someone we usually have some slashed tires….

  2. tlc says:

    OH how funny! Can I come work with you and the Vegetation Vandals?

    I had a friend who worked at a large company and lunches kept getting taken from the fridge. Ended up in a big corporate wide memo instructing people to not take anything that wasn’t theirs in the fridge.

    Oh and that also reminds me a company wide email (approx 25 person company) from the graphic designer informing the team that her and her husband had separated and she was ‘staying’ at the co-presidents while she got things straightened out- didn’t want it to become ‘gossip’. That was funny.

    They were engaged 6 months later. Divorce was barely dry.

    Why I am polluting your blog with this? I’ll go back to my once monthly commenting now.

  3. RP says:

    I’m sure that they will be able to get to the “root” of the problem soon!

    Sorry. Not enough coffee yet. Couldn’t help myself.

  4. Chez says:

    WTF? Perhaps the someone whose plants are getting destroyed has pissed off someone else who feels the need kill the plants (way to go – that’ll show ’em)

    My manager is an orchid fiend and keeps 3-5 plants in her office at all times. I suppose if I ever got pissed enough, I could start killing off $75 plants.

  5. Howard says:

    Tawny – We think the “radical pruners” did it over the weekend.

    tlc – Pollute away…

    RP – I think I’ll just “leaf” that one alone.

    Chez – Not sure what is happening. The guy can be a pain, but he’s not as bad as others.

Comments are closed.