Inventory Form

I had to fill out a form today to move a PC from one location to another. It was one of those forms that had “If you answered “no” to question 2, go to question 7. If you answered “yes” to question 2, go to question 12. If you didn’t answer question 2, go to question 3.” Exactly. About as understandable as the tax code.

Being the humorous guy I am, I composed my own set of instructions.


If you answered “no” to Questions 5, 7, AND 9, move on to question 12. If you can’t answer question 12, go back and remove your answer to question 2. If you didn’t answer question 2, then copy the answer for question 4 and put it in question 2. If question 4 is blank, write in your mother’s maiden name. If you don’t know who your mother is, write in the name of your dog. However, if your dog is dead, please fill out supplemental form, 1267-Alpha-7-Stroke-9, entitled “My dog is dead and I can’t answer question 4” and provide a copy to your local Inventory Control Specialist. In the event that your Inventory Control Specialist has already been killed by me for having to fill out this hairy piece of shit, then please fill out form 1955-Charlie-11-Stroke-11, entitled “Payroll deduction for the ‘Get Howard out of Jail’ Fund”.

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