De-virginized

I’ve been de-virginized! Uh, I mean Harold has been de-virginized. A grande Cafe Vanilla Frapawhateveryoucallit! The damn thing gave me an industrial-sized brain freeze that hurt like hell. It sure was tasty, though.

Oh, and before I forget, I’m working on a post that talks about The Coconut.

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Speechless

I was just informed that I must go to Chicago for a one-day trip, which is great since I love Chicago.

Now the bad news. I have to go with our Assistant Vice President, which won’t be too bad, the girl in charge of purchasing, who is really nice. And. My. Nemesis. The Coconut. Imagine Superman traveling with Lex Luthor, Spiderman traveling with the Dr. Oct, and me traveling with The Coconut.

Can someone please send me some Prozac and an clean, small-caliber weapon?

FUCK!