One of those days

It went something like this…

Scene: Company breakroom, early morning. Our hero enters, dragging ass, trying to find some caffeine.

Cleaning Lady: Mornin’! How you doing today?

Our Hero: grumblegrumblegrumble

Cleaning Lady: Oh, now, don’t be that way.

Our Hero: I know, I know, but I’m already worn out and it’s only Tuesday.

[silence for about 3 seconds]

Cleaning Lady: Darlin’, uh, you know today ain’t Tuesday?

Our Hero: Huh?

Cleaning Lady: Today’s not Tuesday, it’s Wednesday. We were off Monday.

Our Hero gives her a blank look as his brain wraps itself around the fact that it’s not Tuesday.

Cleaning Lady: It’s Wednesday, I promise.

Our Hero: Holy cow, you’re right, it IS Wednesday. Wahoo! Yes!

Cleaning Lady: (laughs) You need to dial it up a bit, son, the days are gettin’ by you.

Our Hero: Yes, Ma’am, you got that right. Either that or buy a watch that has the days on it.

I guess the moral of this story is this: Going through life being a dumbass isn’t so bad if you don’t realize you’re a dumbass.


11 comments on “One of those days

  1. C says:

    Going through life being a dumbass isn’t so bad if you realize there’s a phrase that says “Ignorance is bliss.” But you may not. Because you’re a dumbass.

  2. Wicked H says:

    I’m tellin ya, its’ the whole red thong thing that has him all discombobulated…..

  3. Azalea says:

    Is today a red thong day????

  4. RP says:

    But what happens when someone points out your a dumbass? Then your carefully crafted facade of dumbassedness comes crashing down around your ears and you’re just left standing there, holding your butt. No, I vote for being a smartass. 🙂

    Also, I like thongs (on women).

  5. RP says:

    Of course, that was “you’re a dumbass” not “your a dumbass”. Hit post too soon. So, sue me. Maybe I’m a dumbass, too. If so, Howard, we can skip off into the sunset together, drinking beers, ogling girls in thongs, and reveling in our status as dumbasses. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like it. Sign me up, boss!

  6. Jett says:

    Holy cow, you have a cleaning lady??

    That is monumentally sexy.

  7. Howard says:

    C: Ya big meany. 🙂

    Wicked H and Azalea: Today it’s brown.

    RP: Ticket is in the mail. We’ll rendezvous at Dumbass Headquarters in South Beach at 1400 hours Saturday.

    PS – I think 1400 is in the afternoon sometime.

    Jett: I wish. She works for my company.

  8. RP says:

    Dude. I’ll bring the funny hats and the t-shirts that say: “I’m with Stupid”.

    Gonna be big fun!

  9. Wicked H says:

    So if I want to attend the meeting in South Beach, do I need to wear a leopard print thong or just admit to being a dumbass?

    Patiently waiting……

  10. Jett says:

    Holy hell, if I could read for comprehension, I’da known that.

    Let’s blame it on the pain meds, okay??

  11. Howard says:

    Wicked: RP and I have discussed it and we’ve agreed that if you do indeed show up in a thong, then we are going to be struck dumb.

    Jett: Only if you share the meds. 🙂

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