You know, there are times when I wish my parents would just keep quiet and leave me alone, especially my Dad. I’m so sick and tired of hearing his ‘morals’ lecture that I could just scream. Ever since I told him that I’d started doing a bible study, every few weeks or so he tells me that he’s worried about my decision because of problems he sees with my morals.
The thing that pisses me off the most is that this lecture is coming from someone who’s had questionable morals his whole life, even before he became Christian. It’s like being told not to murder by Charles Manson. Yes, that is an extreme example, but it fits. I’m being told not to do X or that I can’t be a Christian until I stop doing X because it’s hypocritical. It’s hypocritical because he’s saying, in effect, that I can’t get baptized until I stop doing something with is wrong in the eyes of God. What I fail to make him understand is that there will NEVER be a time that everything I do is right and proper. It’s not possible. But he doesn’t see it that way and continues to lecture me on it.
Let me tell you something about my Dad. I love the guy, but he is certainly not the person to lecture me on morals. I’m not going to get into the family history or any bullshit like that, but I will share a few things with you. I have to. I have to get this off my chest so I can stop thinking about it.
My Dad’s issues have always been about money. When he first moved to MS, I used my good credit with the utility companies to setup his local and long distance phone service, water, and electricity so he’d not have to pay deposits. Well, imagine my surprise when I find out that a collection agency is after me because of bills that my Dad didn’t pay. Since I used my Social Security number to set them up, I was ultimately responsible for them. It’s not that he couldn’t pay; it’s that he refused to pay because of some warped ideas in his head. When I told him what was going on, his comment was, “Just tell them it wasn’t you and don’t worry about it. I’m not paying them.” To say I was pissed off and completely floored by this is an understatement of epic proportions. As it turns out, I had to fight BellSouth and MCI for 6 months to get this bullshit straightened out. And you know what? My Dad never blinked an eye at it. It’s like it never happened.
Dad also recently filed bankruptcy because he owed quite a bit on money on his credit cards. We’re talking in the 6 figure range. Why? Well, you may not believe this, but it’s because they wanted him to pay. Yep, they wouldn’t work with him to adjust his interest rate so he said ‘fuck you’ and filed to have his debts wiped clean. At first, I felt sorry for him, because he can’t seem to get a break when it comes to money. But then, after thinking about it for a while, I realized that the only reason he was in this mess was because he continued to buy shit knowing he couldn’t pay for it. I’m not talking about food, clothing, or shelter, I’m talking about tools and books and yard equipment and stereo equipment and more tools and more tools. If he’d been in this situation because he needed his cards to live, then hell yeah I’d feel differently, but not now. This, in my opinion, is stealing. You bought something knowing you couldn’t pay for it and when it came time to do so, you said to hell with it. I’m going to wipe the debt away and it’s all legal.
You see, Dear Reader, this is the problem I have with being given a moral lecture from this man. Again, he’s my Dad and I’ll always love him for that, but how dare he tell me I can’t become a Christian because of ‘moral issues’. And the more I think about it, the angrier I get. I tried to nap, but couldn’t because this whole conversation kept running through my head. And I’m still mad.