Work Tip #5

When talking to the wife of an ex-CEO and trying to explain why you haven’t been back to bring them a new modem, it is best to not use the phrase, “Up to our elbows in alligators”. The reason is that your mouth will automatically turn the word elbows into assholes. If the brain isn’t paying attention, the mouth will snicker after the word escapes.

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I bet Hillary is happy

Sen. John Kerry, the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, will announce Wednesday that he won’t make a run for the White House in 2008, FOX News has learned.

The Massachusetts senator will make his announcement on the Senate floor Wednesday and is taping a message to e-mail supporters to thank them for their support.

The Boston Globe reported that Kerry chose not to enter the crowded presidential field so that he can re-dedicate himself to getting his head out of his ass or getting the United States out of Iraq, whichever is easier.

On a side note – Yesterday, I happened to catch a few minutes of Diane Sawyer’s interview with Hillary. Diane mentioned former President Clinton several times and each time she did, Hillary referred to the man as “him”. As in, “I’ve spoken with him” or “I mentioned it to him”, etc. She never ever used his name. I find that interesting to say the least.