Work Tip #1

When giving your CEO a new laptop, don’t panic if you can’t remember the word “infrared” when referring to the style of mouse he’s been given. In addition, please remember that “ball-less mouse” is not an acceptable substitute. Ever.

Advertisements

Old friends

I spoke to a good friend of mine today…that I hadn’t talked to in about a year and a half. The cool part, besides finding out about his twins, was that it didn’t feel like two years since we’d spoken last.

In the beginning

My first post. It’s been 4 years.

09/06/2003 10:34:52 PM

My first weblog. Why did I create one? Because I thought I had a lot to say on interesting subjects. As I sit here with my laptop, I can think of nothing to say. Nothing. Zip. Part of the reason is I’m watching LSU spank Arizona. Another part is I’ve read so many blogs lately that I’m blog-bleary and can’t remember if these are my thoughts or their’s. And finally, does anyone care what I say? That thought alone almost kept me from creating this blog, but then I thought, who cares?

I’m doing this because I want to keep a record of my thoughts, concerns, stories, musings, etc, and if y’all find it interesting, great. If not, oh well. At least I’ll have fun putting these thoughts out there. I’ve read some great blogs over the past few weeks and if I can be half as interesting as they are, then I’ll feel good about this.

The other good thing about putting out a weblog is that I could justify the purchase of a wireless access point for my little home network. Now I can sit in the living room, watch TV, and blog on my laptop. Sure, I could have bought a long cable to do the same thing, but then I couldn’t brag about having my own wireless network. Yes, I’m a geek…I know. The ol’ Jewish Mom wanted a doctor, she got a computer geek instead. More to come.

Conundrum

You have two dogs driving you crazy, only one rawhide in which to distract them, and no money in the budget for more rawhides. Do you:

A) Toss them the rawhide and best dog wins

B) Let one have it for 30 minutes, then give it to the other

C) Cut the rawhide in half with your handy-dandy 10″ Sliding Compound Mitre saw?

Dedication

The funniest sentence I’ve read this month…

After 3 months one guy had lost 2lb, I lost 1, and the other girl gained 2.so we went out to lunch.

Strange Motivation

I was napping Saturday afternoon, since doing laundry and installing a computer is such hard work, when I heard a cat start whining outside. The dogs, of course, went nuts as dogs do. I, on the other hand, ignored it. It was just a cat, after all.

The dogs, however, wouldn’t let go and the more they barked, the more the cat whined. The whine I kept hearing was weird; like a cat, but not like a cat, so I got up to check. Thought the cat might be hurt or something. Looked out the front window and didn’t see a cat, but I did realize that the whine now sounded different. I went into the garage since the door was open and the cat’s whine suddenly became a woman’s cry of “Help me!”.

I ran out of the garage and noticed one of the elderly ladies across the street was on her knees in her flower bed. I know this lady uses a walker, but didn’t see it anywhere in sight. I hauled ass across the street and let the lady know that I was there to help her. And yes, I was a bit freaked out.

When I looked down, I saw that she’d fallen on her walker. Her left leg was pinned underneath it and she didn’t have the strength in her arms and remaining leg to get herself up. It was weird…once I saw what was going on, I was pretty calm. I noticed nothing appeared to be broken and there was no blood. We got her untangled from the walker then I leaned her back so we could get her right leg straightened out. Once that was done, I set the walker in front of her, got behind her and lifted her up to the walker.

She told me that the walker got caught in the “ditch” between the grass and her flowerbed and just collaped underneath her. She was trying to prune some sticker bushes in the back of her shrubs when the walker gave way. I felt bad for the lady because I know it scared the shit out of her. She was able to shuffle into her house, but wouldn’t let me do anything else so I went home.

The thing is…that episode stuck with me the whole weekend. I kept thinking, “what if I wasn’t there, how long would she have been like that?” and it kinda scared the crap outta me. I thought about what I’d do in that same situation, then I thought about it happening to my Mom, then I thought about what I could do to prevent that from happening to me…so I went to the gym.

Yeah, I know “going to the gym” is a weird response, but I figured if I ever get into that kind of situation, it’s going to be because of some “condition” I have, NOT because I got old and overweight. Yeah, it’s a strange way to think, but if you’d see my Mom, you’d know where I was coming from.

So, Dear Reader, I’m not going to make any pronouncements of a new life and a new lifestyle, but I am going to do what I can to get my proverbial “shit” together. I’ve dicked off for too long. So now it’s time to get back on track and get with the program…and any other sayings I can think of.

There was one “funny” moment in the whole episode. When I lifted her up, she muttered “THANK YOU, JESUS!”. In an incredibly rare moment of willpower and good taste, I chose not to respond with, “Uh, actually, it’s Howard.”