The Computer Tech Never Knocks Once

I just busted up into the middle of a meeting between our Legal department and Claims Executives from our 6 state offices…I didn’t expect them to be in there and I froze. To redeem myself and to maintain some shred of dignity, I blurted out “HOLY COW!”…I am nothing if not smooth.

Manager-speak

One of our Senior VPs wants a new laptop before he goes out of town next week. My manager told me to expedite the order with our vendor…but not pay for overnight shipping…

Arlen Specter is a dipshit

Senator, I say this with the utmost respect. You, Sir, are a dipshit. No one cares anymore. The Patriots lost the Super Bowl, lost their perfect season, lost their luster, and no one gives a crap. Except you.

You know what we’re worried about? $5.00 a gallon for gas; food prices steadily rising; the continued war in Iraq; whether the Pres is going to invade Iran before he leaves office; the gov’t bailing people out of home loans; McCain or Obama or Hillary; illegal immigration.

Did you see “Cheating football coaches” anywhere on that list? No. You know why? Because no one cares. If they want to cheat, let them…nobody fucking cares.

Hell Senator, I bet Congressmen cheat more than coaches do. How many Congressmen have been caught cheating, whether it be on their taxes or their spouses?

Do us all a favor and drop this. I know you think this makes you look like a noble steed, but you still look like an ass to me.

Somebody please kill me…

I sweat to god, someone must have dropped dumbass drops into the water at work. We’ve had more problems this week and it’s all stupid stuff…not to mention the project I got to spec a new laptop standard. The laptops are to be spec’d with bluetooth and media card readers. Can anyone tell me why a “business” laptop needs bluetooth or a card reader? We don’t buy any bluetooth-enabled devices nor do we do anything with memory cards.

My gut tells me that since my boss found a way to sneak them onto his laptop, the other managers want the same thing…and the best way to do that is to have them spec’d as standard equipment. This place is driving me nuts.

What not to say…

Gentlemen,

When the wife comes home and tells you that she’s been laid off, I would refrain from responding with, “So who’d you piss off this time?”. Trust me on this one…