Hey America!

Hey America, I got an idea…I know how to put all the unemployed Americans back to work. Let’s do something really crazy and open Customer Support Centers in the States. Wild idea, huh?? We could actually train English-speaking Americans on how to provide customer support, technical support, help desk, and any other kind of support you can think of.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if the person you were talking to was really named “Billy” or “Scott” or “Sarah” or “Mary” instead of someone taking an Americanized name so I’ll feel more cum-for-tuh-bull talking to them? As a matter of fact, I’m speaking to someone named Sara right now with AT&T’s DSL Support line and I’m willing to bet one of three leggers remaining legs that this person ain’t really a Sara.

Now before you think me a racist or a bigot, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just believe that if we’re so damn concerned about unemployment in America then the best thing we can do is employ Americans. I’m betting that anyone (and everyone) who reads this is tired of dealing with support people that a) you can’t understand, b) who can’t understand you, or c) all of the above. If I’m calling technical support, it’s because I can’t get something to work and the last thing I want to do is have to repeat myself to be understood. I’m pissed off enough as it because what I’m trying to do won’t work and the last thing I want to do is to deal with someone who can’t understand the words coming out of my mouth. And for gosh sakes, please, please, please don’t insult my intelligence by telling me your name is Charlie, because I got news for you “Charlie”, it doesn’t make me feel any better.

I know it’s not the fault of the tech support people and that they’re doing their job the best they can, but unfortunately, that’s not good enough. We’ve got hundreds of thousands of people looking for work and I bet many of them can be trained to read a script just as well as these other folks can. And the best part, in my opinion, is that I don’t have to repeat myself to be understood. Sure, they may not understand the problem I’m having, but at least they understand the freaking words I’m using.

I guess what it comes down to is I’m sick and tired of corporations bitching and moaning about shit when their only solution to money problems is to lay off the people that made them the money in the first place. How about closing all of your foreign call centers and bringing them back to the States? You’re going to be surprised at the number of people willing to take these jobs and, quite honestly, how grateful they’ll be to have them. The bottom line America is I’m tired of talking to fake Billy’s….give me a real Billy dammit!!

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