I had to put Trey to sleep this morning and it was honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. About 4 or 5 months ago, he developed a cancerous tumor on one of his hind legs. It was a “high” Grade 2 mast cell tumor although they were able to get most of it. About a month later, he got another one on his back by his tail, although this one had much less cancer cells and none on the perimeter, meaning they got all of it. And then I found the last one.
When I took him at the beginning of December to get the last one removed, my vet called to tell me if I’d seen the one under his front right leg, and I said no, because I really hadn’t seen it. I don’t know how I could have missed it because it was at least the size of a golf ball. In addition, there was bruising around it so at first we thought it might me a hematoma from playing with Fancy. About two days later, though, I noticed that there was also bruising on his belly so I took him back. The vet shaved a part of his belly and it looked like he’d been hit by something. His entire abdomen, from his groin to just under his front leg was bruised. I kinda knew at this point that this wasn’t good. Fortunately, the bruising went away and Trey returned to his old self.
I got them back from the kennel last Monday, where they’d been while I was in Colorado and during that time he took a turn for the worse. The lump under his front leg was growing exponentially, even after the vet dressed it. It looked like he had a small loaf of bread under the skin. The vet was afraid that if they went in to get it, he wouldn’t be able to walk again, and the size of it almost precluded them from getting it all. There’s be nothing to sew back together. So I watched and waited and he slowed down.
I decided last night that he was really in pain and that something had to be done. Actually, I didn’t really decide anything because there wasn’t much left that we could do. It got to the point where Trey would barely make it to the carpet to lay down, and failing that, he’d simply lay down where ever he was. He would eat treats if given to him, but I barely noticed him eating, which is way out of character. When I woke up this morning and he was in the same spot he was in when I went to bed, I knew it was time.
Even as I sit here typing this I keep thinking “I could have done more” but I know it would have just prolonged the inevitable. I told myself that I would do whatever I could provided that he wasn’t in pain and I did. It got to the point where he could barely walk and that was just too much. I put him to sleep to save him the pain and to save me from having to watch him go through it.
I will miss you always Trey. You were a gentle, sweet dog from the day I got you and I am forever glad you were mine.