Not a great way to leave

Monday morning will mark the first time in 11 years that I’ll not be going to work at my old job.  I resigned late last week and this past Tuesday was my last day…although should have left the day I resigned.

You see, Dear Reader, I’ve been mentally finished with my old job for close to a month.  I knew that the new company was going to hire me, but it was just a matter of working through the details.  When I got the offer last week I should have just packed up my shit and left but I didn’t for the simple reason that I didn’t want to leave my friends.  Over the past 11 years, I’ve made some really, really good friends and although I was done with the job, I wasn’t done with them.  I agreed to work the last two weeks, but that was a mistake and I regret doing it because I think I made some people angry about my lack of effort.  I think that’s the part that bothers me the most…the fact that people who are friends are mad because of how I acted the last few days.

What I should have said was “here’s what I’ll finish up and once that’s done, I’ll go on my merry way”.  What I should have said was, “Listen, I’m mentally through with this place so I think it best that I pack up and just go”.  What I should have said was, “You know, you’re right, I’m not doing what I said I was going to do and I’m sorry.  I just don’t have the desire, drive, or whatever you want to call it to finish this out.  I’m done”.  Unfortunately, Dear Reader, I said nothing like that and it pretty much went to shit…and I don’t know how to fix it…but I’m going to try.

My friends…I do sincerely apologize for the way I ended things.  It was never my intent nor my desire to leave you with the work, but unfortunately, that’s what happened, and I really am sorry.  You know as well as I do how the mere thought of getting out of that asylum was the overriding thing I was focused on, instead of sticking to my end of the bargain, that being getting my shit done.  Hindsight being what it is, I should have simply said, “Thanks, but if it’s all the same to you, I think it best if I just go ahead and leave”.  At least we’d have known up front what would and what wouldn’t have gotten completed.  I’d like you to know that I really am sorry for the way I departed and if I could do it again, I’d do it differently.  The last thing I’d want is for any of you to be angry with me or think that I just fucked off the last days I was there.  I sincerely hope that we can continue to be friends and that my status as “King Douche” can be reduced to that of the “Fool” since we all know I was good at that.  I’ve never been good at the endings so I’ll just stop here.  H.

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