So, it’s been a while and I have some interesting news. My company had a health screening last week so I went and guess what? I have enough triglycerides for 4 people. Nice, huh? Funny thing is I’m not surprised. The rest of my numbers weren’t great so it appears that I’ve gotten what I wanted…a wake up call.
Usually, stuff like this doesn’t bother me, but this time it does. I guess I finally realized that unless I do something about it, my health is not going to magically get better. If you’ve read this thing for any length of time, you’ll know this is my standard line…time to do something about it. The difference is I’ve not been scared before, but I am now. To say I was floored when I saw the number is an understatement. I was shocked….literally shocked, to quote Joe Biden. Long time readers will also know that I’ve done enough reading on weight loss and working out that I could probably write my own book. And they’ll also know that my “give a shitter” is in a perpetual state of not giving a shit. Well…apparently fear is a great motivator.
I used to believe in coincidences, but not any more. I believe things happen for a reason. Last week, I got shitty numbers and today I got a call from a trainer at the gym I belong to…well “belong” may not be the right word. “Belong” would indicate that I actually go to where I pay money…in this case, I just pay the money. So anyway, I get a call and it turns out to be a new trainer at the gym who actually said, “Yeah, since I’m the new guy, I get stuck with a lot of calls like this”…it made me laugh. Most trainers I’ve dealt with couldn’t give a shit because I didn’t have a rack. Well, I had moobs, but they don’t really count. When I told Matt that I’d have to work out for 6 months just to get back to “out of shape” he laughed. I’m going to see him tomorrow at 5:30pm. As I said, I don’t believe in coincidence.
I don’t really know what’s going to happen but I’ve got to get my head wrapped around the fact that I’m way too fat, way too out of shape, and if I don’t do something soon, I could be way too out of life. And I’ll tell you one other thing that got me to thinking. When I was in Colorado my brother put his arm around me and said, “I’m worried about you. We’re getting to that age where…” and he stopped. Funny thing is, he didn’t have to say anything else. I knew it was his way of saying “I don’t want you to die” and that by itself should give me all the motivation I need.
The goal weight for me is 190. I’m currently 240. If I’ve done the math right, I’ve got to drop 50 pounds. FIFTY POUNDS. Shit.
So…stay tuned Dear Reader. As many of you might remember, I’m most funny when I’m crabby, and nothing makes me crabby like working out and losing weight.