Dead wood

Well, Dear Reader, for the first time in three years, my Morning Wood has failed me. Sure, I’m getting older, but I sure as hell didn’t think I’d lose my edge this quickly. It’s sad, really. I’m always ready to go, especially now. Why, my Wood does some of it’s best work late in the season. Not this year though.

My Wood finished a semi-respectable 7-6, but failed to make the playoffs. *Sigh* Last year, my Wood was in the lead for most of the season, limped along the last few games, and finished 10-4-1. I expected more this year, but Coach Levitra just couldn’t pull it off.

Oh well, there’s always next year. Hey, listen to me. I sound like a Notre Dame fan.


Morning Wood Week 6

Well, Dear Reader, the Wood is 4-2 and tied for third. We won this week mainly because the opposing team’s coach didn’t change any of the players who had a bye week. Hey, I’m not complaining. A win is a win. We still scored ’cause we still scored over 60 points, which is good enough in this league to win any day.

All in all, the Wood is holding strong…and that’s a good thing.

Morning Wood Week 4

Good news, Sports Fans, the Morning Wood is 3-1, coming off an impressive victory over Mojo Rising. It turns out that for this week anyway, they had no mo mojo. At the end of Week 4, we are in a 5-way tie for 3rd. Our next game is against Bang!, who happens to be the leader in this group of 5. Keep your fingers crossed ’cause the bye week for Philly takes away our defense. I had to pick up San Fran, but they ain’t so hot.

In related news, the Wood, as we like to call them, has beaten two out of the three women who play in our league. It is rather refreshing, really, to point out the fact that they have been spanked by my Morning Wood. The combined looks of disgust and disappointment are certainly worth it. Not sure if I’ll be playing the 3rd woman but if so, I’m sure she’ll crumble under the weight of my Wood just like the others.

In closing, I just want to remind everyone that I will be taking my Wood in hand this weekend and hopefully leading them to the promised land.

Morning Wood Week 2

Despite a valiant effort by the Eagles’ defense, the Wood went down in defeat this week. Several of our starters were a bit limp and Coach Levitra was to speak to them today during a mandatory meeting. “Coach is a good motivator and will pump us up for our next game,” said team MVP DeShaun Foster.

The Wood were down by 10 points at the start of last night’s game and although Philly’s D did an excellent job, they were only able to score us 9. It was a heartbreaker. Coach Levitra and I are proud of our boys even though we came up short.

The Wood recently acquired Dominic Rhodes due to the injury of starting running back, Edgerrin James. Sorry to say we had to let Tai Streets go. His production was just not what we were looking for and Coach Levitra and I felt it best that we release him early.

The Wood is currently 1-1, with 122 points.

Morning Wood Week 1

Well, my boys did pretty well this week. We won 63-40 over cross-town rival “Dyslexic Hamsters”. Props to Thomas Jones, running back for the Bears, and Eric Johnson, tight end for the Niners.

Morning Wood update

Thought I’d give y’all an update on my Morning Wood. Coach Levitra has had a hard time drafting quality talent this year because we have a record number of teams in our league. He’s stuck with it, though, and has gone balls to the wall to get good players. Here’s who we have so far.

QB – Drew Bledsoe – Buffalo
QB – Carson Palmer – Cincinnati

RB – Edgerrin James – Indianapolis
RB – Thomas Jones – Chicago
RB – DeShaun Foster – Carolina

WR – Joe Horn – New Orleans
WR – Darrell Jackson – Seattle
WR – Tai Streets – Detroit
WR – Darius Watts – Denver

TE – Open

K – Morten Andersen – Kansas City

Defense – Philadelphia

In the final three rounds, Coach Levitra has been instructed to pick a tight end, an additional receiver, and an additional defense. Just in case. Soon as they’re picked, I’ll let you know.