VoIP phones

I’m thinking of ditching satellite, land line, and DSL connection and moving to cable for internet, tv, and phone service. I’m still doing the numbers, but at first glance, if I use cable tv, cable internet, and Vonage’s Basic package, I can save about $30 per month.

The Vonage service gives me quite a few calling features that I don’t have currently, including long distance. Cable gives me similar tv channels, a Tivo option, and high-speed internet all in one. I’ve been really satisfied with satellite and DSL, but saving $30/month is nothing to sneeze at.

Do any of you have phone service through Vonage or your cable provider? If so, what do you think? I’ve heard good and bad.

Open mouth, insert entire body

Not sure if you know this, Dear Reader, but I do side work for a few customers in the area. One is a local doctor’s office that I picked up through a co-worker since his wife is the office manager.

I was supposed to go to their office this past Monday to help them with a server issue. The wife calls me mid-afternoon and sounds horrible. She’s home sick with a fever so she’ll have to postpone. No problem, I tell her, just let me know.

Since I hadn’t heard from her, I thought, “What the hell, I’ll ask her husband how she’s doing”. I walk up to his cube:

Me: “Hey, B called me on Monday and said she was sick. Is she feeling any better?”

Him: stares at me.

Me: “She sounded awful. Does she have the flu?”

Him: staring at me

Me: stares at him in return

Him: keeps staring

Me: Thinks to myself, “You know, he hasn’t blinked in like two minutes”.

Him: still doesn’t blink

Me: “Um.” I can’t stand silence and that seemed like the most noncommittal thing to say.

Him: “I guess you don’t know.”

Me: “Um.” Hell, it worked the first time.

Him: “B walked out on me in August after 35 years of marriage.”

Me: “Um.” That’s the last thing the brain said before it got up and left.

Me: “Um…uh. Um. Um. Whu….Um. Uh.” See? I told you the brain left.

Me: “Oh…uh. I think I hear my phone. Be right back.” Well, what the fuck would you have done?

Yep, it’s true. His wife decided she didn’t want to be married anymore and no one bothered to tell me. That figures, though. I’m usually the guy who asks the fat chick if she’s pregnant, asks the widow how her husband’s doing, or asks the divorced guy if his wife’s still sick.

Remind me to tell you about the time I asked a different coworker about his wife during a group lunch with a vendor.

Tax time

I thought I’d post this again because my friends and I get a kick out of it every time we see it. This happened about 2 years ago. I was trying to do my taxes and kept running into a problem. Within their help system, Turbo Tax had a support chat option which I decided to use. As you can see, their support staff was a tad bit preoccupied during my call…

Turbo Tax Support2.jpg

Funeral for my Youth

My friends had planned to hold a funeral for my Youth, but were unable to do so because of the untimely death of a coworker. They all felt it would have been in bad taste to go through with it and I agree.

They did, however, have a mini funeral complete with old funeral sprays, pictures of the dearly departed youth, and a eulogy. It was really funny. I included a copy of it and some pictures in the extended section because it’s kinda long. And yes, the people are my friends. And I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

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The Big Four Oh

Today I turn 40. I don’t feel 40, I’ve been told I don’t look 40, and I don’t act 40…hell, I’m lucky if I act 15 at times. To me, it’s just a number, but it still doesn’t look right. I just find it hard to believe that I’m here…The Big Four Oh.

In the words of the immortal Jerry Garcia, “Whoa-oh, what I want to know-oh, where does the time go?”

Work Tip #1

When installing a new laptop for the Assistant Vice President of your department, it is very important to speak in a clear and concise manner. Be sure to enunciate every word and to think through your thoughts before speaking them aloud. If you fail to do this, a simple sentence such as, “Before I leave, I need to plug in your mouse” will come out as follows:

“Before I leave, I need to plug in your mouth…uh…I mean…your mouth…not mouth, but mouth. We. Need. To. Plug. In. Your. Mouse.”

Read. The. Cake.

If there’s a birthday cake on your desk with the words “Happy Birthday Lisa” written in big, red letters, why does everyone keep asking, “Hey, who’s birthday?”.