Monthly Archives: June 2006

Hot, hot water

Wahoo! A brand-spankin’ new water heater that was installed AND covered by my home owner’s warranty. Now, if I could just figure out a way to get my A/C replaced.

I’ve had enough

This is why I’ve gotten sick of what I do…A help desk from one of our users.

Desktop printer no longer prints. Have to use HISD02 or HISD07 for all print (lots of walking).

We’re talking 50 ft from her desk to the printers and back.

Un-freakin-believable.

A new dog…almost

I can’t tell you how close I came to getting another dog this weekend. I went to Petsmart to get treats and rawhide bones and saw several dogs in cages when I walked in. Something told me I needed to check out the blonde dog in the cage, but I ignored myself and went to find the treats.

As I was standing in the checkout line, I glanced at the dog and sure enough, she was missing a leg. A front leg. The front left leg, to be precise, which is exactly the same leg the other two are missing. So I stepped out of line and went over to her.

I put my fingers in the cage and instead of ignoring me, as she had several others, she came forward and gave me a tentative lick on my fingers. It was an extreme effort on my part to not get her. A Herculean effort if you want to know the truth.

There were two reasons why I didn’t get her. I was worried how Fancy would react to her because she’s not always good with other dogs. Plus, I don’t think my yard is big enough for three three-leggers. Sure, it would have been cool to take them for a walk with all three missing the same leg, but that wasn’t a good enough reason.

So, Dear Reader, common sense prevailed and I had to leave the puppy at the store. I hope she finds a good home.

Hammerin’!

I won’t be around tomorrow, Dear Reader. It’s Habitat for Humanity time and I’m going to be building stuff.

The Company gives us a “free” day if we participate, plus they provide transportation, drinks, and lunch. It’s a ton of fun, AND I get to use powertools without any adult supervision.

Only downside? 92 degrees…and humid.

Kidnap…er…dognap

Uh…I don’t want to give the dogs back. I’ve gotten used to having them with me, waking me up at 5:30 every morning to give them treats, barking if a leaf moves, snuggling next to me on the couch, playing dead in the middle of the floor, and being incredibly excited to see me when I get home.

If I have to give them back, it’s really going to hurt. Can you go to jail for dognapping your own dogs?

Hold the internet

I got a project yesterday that stated the following:

Per Senior Management. Box up all equipment in former VP’s office(monitor, docking station, flat-panel monitor, and printer) and set up in former VP’s home. He already has his laptop, but will need all other equipment. Coordinate delivery & setup with former VP.

The VP in question just retired so Senior Management decided to give him his hardware as a gift. We’re giving him approximately $2,600 in equipment for free…and the kicker is this:

If he asks for access to the internet, explain to him that he will need to get a DSL connection.

In other words, we said, “Here, Dude. Take all of this hardware for free, but, uh, if you want internet access, you’re going to have to pay for that on your own.” We’d have been better off giving him access and keeping the hardware.

Rescue Me

OK…I’ll admit. I’m hooked on Rescue Me. I didn’t plan on it, but after two episodes, I’m addicted. The show is just incredibly good and one of the few shows to a) keep my attention and 2) make me laugh out loud.

I need some help though. I missed the first two seasons and am a bit confused. In the episode I just saw, from this season, Tommy beats the shit out of the guy who’s dating his wife. Who is the guy? I know he’s an attorney, but how does he fit into the picture? Any help would be appreciated.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch the next episode. You gotta love Tivo!

Suing the Colonel

I just read an article that says the Center for Science in the Public Interest is suing KFC because their chicken is cooked in oil that is “unhealthy”. The Center for Science in the Public Interest? Oh man…the name alone makes me shudder. The next thing these “scientists” will be telling me is that porn is bad for me because it elevates my heart rate and causes swelling in the genitals.

I won’t go over the specifics of the article because it’s ridiculous. Of course KFC is unhealthy…it’s fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits, the Holy Trinity of “stuff that ain’t good for you”. But you know what? I don’t need you to tell me it’s bad for me, or to file suit on my behalf. I need you to shut the f* up and keep your hands off my chicken.

I mean, really, leave the Colonel alone. He’s got enough problems with PETA and Pam Anderson complaining that chickens are treated poorly before we eat them. They’re chickens. They’re supposed to be eaten. That’s why they’re here. If we aren’t supposed to eat them, then why did God make everything taste like them? Alligator? Tastes like chicken. Frog’s legs? Tastes like chicken. Tofu burgers? They’d taste like chicken if chicken tasted like ass. Treating a chicken humanely before butchering it is like swabbing the arm of a death row inmate with alcohol before inserting the needle.

If I were the judge and the attorney for the plaintiff said, “Your Honor, we’re here because KFC is using oil that may be harmful to humans”, you know what my response would be? “No shit. Now get your asses out of my f*in courtroom so I can go get me a 2 piece snack box, all white, crispy, with mashed potatoes and coleslaw. Case dismissed.”