Not good

A friend/trainer sent me a beginner crossfit workout last week and I finally got around to trying it just a few minutes ago.  The workout was 5 different exercises within a 20 minute workout time.  I made it 5 minutes.  Yep, 5 minutes.  After 25 squats, 15 situps, and 10 pushups, I was done.  Wonder how long I would have lasted if I hadn’t already lost 13 lbs?  Am I pissed off?  You have no idea how pissed off I am.  Problem is, being pissed off is not normally a motivator for me. Well, it is in some cases, but exercise isn’t one of them.

Not sure what I’m gonna do. I really wanna quit and say fuck it, but I can’t. Not quitting anymore just because it doesn’t turn out like I want.  Heh…only taken me 45 years to develop that attitude.  Think I’m going to have to find something besides crossfit for the time being. I need to be able to complete a workout if I want to keep going. I guess I can look at it like 25 squats, 15 situps, and 10 pushups is the most I’ve done in over a year.  At least I got off my ass and did something…but it sure doesn’t feel like anything.

My goal is @WarriorDash

A wise person once told me that the best way to accomplish something is to have a goal.  If you’re not goal oriented, this advice sucks. I think my response was, “my goal is to have a goal”.  Wasn’t really what they had in mind.  I’m just not goal oriented and never have been.  My brother is goal oriented.  He once told me he had several goals, married by 30, kids by 35…blahblahblah. There were others but I quit listening.  If you’re not goal oriented, hearing others talk about their goals is boring.

For me, goal setting is hard.  I get too caught up in the minutia of it.  Small or large goal?  One goal or multiple goals?  Are the goals measurable?  What happens when I hit that goal?  See what I mean?  Some examples; Taking guitar lessons, the teacher asked me what songs I wanted to play…f**k if I knew.  I just wanted to play guitar.  When working out, my trainer asked what goal I had in mind…getting buff and getting laid came to mind, but that’s probably not what she meant.  My financial guy asked me what my retirement goal was.  He just stared when I said, “to not die while living in a cardboard box”.  Sounded like a decent goal to me.

As I’ve tried to lose weight through the years, people have always told me to set a goal.  When I say “like what?”, a lot of them say, “you can run a 5K, or a half marathon, or even a full marathon!” and my response to them is simple…”why?”.  I’m not a runner and never have been.  Never saw the point to it.  People say running is awesome, but I’ve never seen a runner smile while running.  Never.  A grimace, yes; a smile, no.  For three years, I was an escort rider for the MS Blues Marathon and each time I guided the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place males.  None of them smiled.  Ever.  I’ve seen them run right next to traffic, I’ve seen them run in frigid temperatures, and I’ve even seen one guy throw up and run at the same time, but I’ve never seen one smile while running.  One time I took pictures of some friends running in their first 5K.  Not a smile in the entire group.  You can see why I thought running was like the dumbest idea ever…until yesterday, that is.  Yesterday, I saw people laughing, smiling, wearing bunny ears, and fuzzy viking helmets while they were running.  Yesterday, I saw my goal.  Yesterday, I saw Warrior Dash.

You see, Dear Reader, for the last two months I’ve been going to what I affectionately call “The Fat Doctor”.  The reason for going is simple, I’ve gotten too fat.  When I stepped on the scale at the doctor’s office I had topped out at 242, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been.  If you’re familiar with the Gabriel Iglesias weight scale, I’m somewhere between husky and fluffy.

After two months, I’m down 13 lbs and the Doc just cut the dosage for my blood pressure meds in half.  The weight loss is through a combination of medication (Phentermine) and changes to both what I eat and how much. I want to be at 190 or 195 in 6 months…(dude, I made a goal!) The problem is I still wasn’t motivated to exercise until I saw Warrior Dash.  Sure you’re running a 5k, but it’s not just running to get from point A to point B.  You’re running from the mud pit strung with barbed wire, then uphill to the rope climb, and then to the tire patch or the river crossing or whatever they put in front of you.  And then, just when you’re about to reach the finish, you get to jump over a fire.  Did you hear what I wrote?  You get to jump over fire!  On purpose!  With people yelling at you to JUMP OVER THE FIRE!  Whenever I think about it, my inner Beavis screams “Fiyuuure!” and we both giggle with excitement.  And not only am I doing it, but about 8 or 10 guys from work are doing it too, including my Manager and our Senior VP.  I didn’t think it was possible but I’m actually psyched to run.

I’m going to record the next 5 months worth of training on here so you can keep track of how it’s going…you know, if you’re interested.

Oh…one more thing.  If the Warrior Dash folks happen to stumble upon this post (and I hope they do), I’ll make y’all a deal.  If you promise to keep me motivated until the Mississippi event, I promise not to throw up all over your mud.  Deal?